How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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