How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
