I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was like eating out sand paper
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
