It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
