just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
