During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
