Apparently you make a good broom.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
