this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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