is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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