I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
