sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
