I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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