I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
