You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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