Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
