i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
