in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
