I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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