i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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