if you like me you must not know who I am
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize