At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
