The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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