drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
