i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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