It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
