You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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