This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
