I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
