this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
