My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
