I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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