is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
