Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
