My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
