Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
