During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I need moral support for this bender
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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