ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
