Where did you get a picture of my penis
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
