i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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