The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
