yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
