So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
