Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
