so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
