why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
