saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
