theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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