so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
