Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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