I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
