Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
