I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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