pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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