Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
