I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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