I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
