Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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