Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
