She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Randomize
