Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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