She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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