you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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