i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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