the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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